


Milestones

by aroceu



Category: The Social Network (2010)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Facebook, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-07
Updated: 2015-12-07
Packaged: 2018-05-05 09:11:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5369771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aroceu/pseuds/aroceu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><b>Dustin Moskovitz → Eduardo Saverin</b><br/>YOU BROKE MY HEART :(<br/><span class="small"><span class="small"><i><b>Mark Zuckerberg</b></i> <i>likes this.</i></span></span></p>
            </blockquote>





	Milestones

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer that I have literally never played Farmville before I don't know what actually happens on it other than that you can water crops and throw animals at people. Formatting this was probably the worst thing ever.
> 
> **Translated into Chinese[here](http://markyou7.lofter.com/post/1d40bdf0_9315169) [[2](http://markyou7.lofter.com/post/1d40bdf0_9400eff)] and [here](http://www.mtslash.org/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=187514) (locked)**

**Mark Zuckerberg** wonders why some people don’t bother deleting their accounts if they never use them…  
_**Chris Hughes, Sean Parker,**_ _and_ _**2,071 others**_ _liked this_.

 

 **Mark Zuckerberg** posted  new photos in the album Singapore 2011.  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** threw a sheep at **Mark Zuckerberg**!  Join Farmville | Visit Dustin’s farm  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg** threw a chicken at **Dustin Moskovitz!** Join Farmville **|** Visit Mark’s farm  
****

* * *

 

 **Mark Zuckerberg** Three years.  
_**6,554 people**_ _liked this_.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** Mark don’t tell me you’re being emo again  
**Chris Hughes** He’s always emo.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** True  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Shut up  
  
**Chris Hughes** It’s that time of year again.  
_**Dustin Moskovitz, Sean Parker**_ _, and_ _**43 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** Someone save us  
**Chris Hughes** please  
**Dustin Moscovtiz** he threw a CHICKEN at me, Chris!!  
**Chris Hughes** I know, I saw  
**Mark Zuckerberg** you realize I can see this, right?  
\- _**Dustin Moskovitz, Chris Hughes,**_ _and_ _**3**_ _**others**_ _liked this_  
**Sean Parker** it’s p funny tbh  
**Chris Hughes** oh shut up and go back to spotify  
  
**Sean Parker → Chris Hughes**  
spotify does not appreciate ur slander  
  
**Chris Hughes → Sean Parker**  
work on memorizing your legal terms, parker  
****

* * *

 

 **Mark Zuckerberg** Seriously, if you haven’t updated your Facebook profile in three years then you should either start using it regularly again or delete it.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** or we can delete the profiles, really  
**Mark Zuckerberg** that would be a breach of privacy

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Dustin Moskovitz** like you haven’t creeped on his profile to know he hasn’t messaged anyone either LOL  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** invited **Eduardo Saverin** to  Farmville.  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** invited **Eduardo Saverin** to  Candy Crush.  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** invited **Eduardo Saverin** to  Tetris Battle.

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Dustin Moskovitz** STOP IT I KNOW YOU’RE DOING THAT  
**Mark Zuckerberg** et tu, brute?  
**Mark Zuckerberg** he hangs out with app designers anyway he should actually use the apps then  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Don’t talk like you didn’t answer that question on Quora  
**Dustin Moskovitz** HE BROKE MY HEART, MARK!!  
**Dustin Moskovitz** MINE  
**Dustin Moskovitz** we should put an asterisk on the masthead  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I’ll get on that  
**Mark Zuckerberg** and he broke mine too  
**Dustin Moskovitz** lol like you have a heart  
**Dustin Moskovitz** and THIS is the part, I believe, where you say ‘touche’  
**Dustin Moskovitz** :D  
**Mark Zuckerberg** only if you promise to do me a favor  
**Dustin Moskovitz** :D?  
**Mark Zuckerberg** hold on I’ll text you  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg → Dustin Moskovitz**  
touche  
  
**Dustin Moskovitz → Mark Zuckerberg**  
:DDD  
****

* * *

 

 **Dustin Moskovitz** invited **Eduardo Saverin** to **Farmville**.  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** threw a chicken at **Eduardo Saverin**!  Join Farmville | View Dustin’s farm  
****

* * *

 

 **Eduardo Saverin** Anyone want to explain to me why my email suddenly got bombarded with Facebook invitations? It’s not even the email I have with this account and I can’t unsubscribe from them.  
_**Mark Zuckerberg, Dustin Moskovitz, Sean Parker**_ _, and_ _**73 others**_ _liked this_.  
  
**Eduardo Saverin → Dustin Moskovitz**  
Why would you even do that?  
  
**Eduardo Saverin → Chris Hughes**  
Control your children.  
_**Sean Parker, Sean Elridge**_ _, and_ _**5 others**_ _liked this_.  
  
**Chris Hughes → Eduardo Saverin**  
that’s a disgusting image  
  
**Dustin Moskovitz → Eduardo Saverin**  
doesn’t it EXCITE you that there are chickens on Facebook? Isn’t that hilarious?? :D  
  
**Eduardo Saverin → Dustin Moskovitz**  
No.  
  
**Eduardo Saverin → Dustin Moskovitz**  
And also why is there an * next to my name on the masthead?  
  
**Dustin Moskovitz → Eduardo Saverin**  
YOU BROKE MY HEART :(  
_**Mark Zuckerberg**_ _liked this_.  
****

**Chris Hughes** Genuinely wish I could like Likes. **Dustin Moskovitz** , get on this.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** On it!!!!  
  
**Mark Zuckerberg → Dustin Moskovitz**  
Don’t.  
  
**Dustin Moskovitz → Mark Zuckerberg**  
Aww, matching posts on my walls!!! :D  
  
**Eduardo Saverin → Dustin Moskovitz**  
Why.  
_**Mark Zuckerberg**_ _liked this_.  
_-_ _**Dustin Moskovitz**_ _liked this_ _ **Like**_.

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I’m firing you  
**Dustin Moskovitz** after what my generous ass did so much for you :D?  
**Mark Zuckerberg** you’re on probation  
**Dustin Moskovitz** getting Wardo’s personal email was so hard :(  
**Mark Zuckerberg** no lunch break today  
**Mark Zuckerberg** final deal  
**Dustin Moskovitz** fine  
**Dustin Moskovitz** get me a sandwich from the cafeteria  
**Dustin Moskovitz** italian, no salami  
**Mark Zuckerberg** k  
****

**Eduardo Saverin → Mark Zuckerberg**  
Stop that.  
  
**Mark Zuckerberg → Eduardo Saverin**  
We’re friends. I can see your posts.  
  
**Eduardo Saverin** **→ Mark Zuckerberg**  
Why can’t I unfriend you?

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Eduardo Saverin** Why can’t I unfriend Mark? Can you fix that?  
**Dustin Moskovitz** Are you sure you wanna do that??? D:  
**Eduardo Saverin** Yes.  
  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Don’t you dare  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I ALREADY INVADED HIS PRIVACY ONCE, MARK  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I OWE HIM SOMETHING  
**Mark Zuckerberg** it’s not like he knows  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** is being HARASSED BY HIS FRIENDS AND BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO :(((((  
_**Chris Hughes, Sean Parker,**_ _and_ _**7 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Chris Hughes** lol  
**Dustin Moskovitz** :(  
_**\- Chris Hughes**_ _liked this_ _comment._  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz → Chris Hughes**  
I literally hate you.  
_**Mark Zuckerberg**_ _liked this_.  
  
**Chris Hughes → Dustin Moskovitz**  
:)  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** I’M JUST NOT GOING TO DO ANYTHING YOU’RE ALL ON YOUR OWN  
_**Mark Zuckerberg, Chris Hughes,**_ _and_ _**24 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Thank you  
****

**Eduardo Saverin → Mark Zuckerberg**  
This is definitely illegal. I should be allowed to unfriend you.  
  
**Mark Zuckerberg → Eduardo Saverin**  
You own shares in this company. I own this company. Why would you want to unfriend me?  
  
**Eduardo Saverin → Mark Zuckerberg**  
Do I need to remind you how this website was created?  
  
**Mark Zuckerberg → Eduardo Saverin**  
No. I was there.  
****

**Sean Parker** this is lit the best day of my life im just sittin here w my popcorn.gif  
_**Chris Hughes, Dustin Moskovitz, Randi Zuckerberg**_ _, and_ _**180 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Eduardo Saverin** Why am I even friends with you on here anyway?  
**Sean Parker** beats me LOL  
****

**Sean Parker** aww :( he unfriended me :((((  
_**Mark Zuckerberg**_ _and_ _**842 others**_ _liked this_.

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I didn’t stop you with Sean. Are you happy?  
**Eduardo Saverin** Your interpersonal skills have gotten worse.  
****

**Eduardo Saverin** What’s the point of using a website if you aren’t at liberty to friend and unfriend who you want?  
_**Dustin Moskovitz**_ _and_ _**36 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Sean Parker** he’s ceo  
**Sean Parker** bitch  
**Eduardo Saverin** How did you get here?  
**Sean Parker** PRIVACY SETTINGS  
_**\- Mark Zuckerberg**_ _liked this_ comment  
**Sean Parker** BITCH  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg → Dustin Moskovitz**  
I saw that like.

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I thought you were on my side  
**Dustin Moskovitz** THERE ARE NO SIDES, ONLY CHAOS  
_Mark invited Chris Hughes to this chat._  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Chris, Dustin picked Eduardo’s side, so you’re on mine now  
**Chris Hughes** your side of what?  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I’M NOT ON ANYONE’S SIDE!! I’M NOT ON EDUARDO’S SIDE  
**Mark Zuckerberg** you are a liar  
**Mark Zuckerberg** who lies  
**Dustin Moskovitz** CHRIS DON’T LISTEN TO HIM  
**Mark Zuckerberg** too late I already call dibs on him  
**Dustin Moskovitz** FINE  
**Chris Hughes** What the hell is happening  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz → Eduardo Saverin**  
WARDO. We must join forces and win!! We must defeat Mark!!  
  
**Eduardo Saverin → Dustin Moskovitz**  
Will you let me unfriend him?  
****

* * *

 

 **Mark Zuckerberg** Facebook’s position of Chief Technology Officer is now open. We are accepting applications. Please direct all additional inquiries to [careers@facebook.com](mailto:careers@facebook.com)  
_**Chris Hughes, Sean Parker,**_ _and_ _**43,825 others**_ _liked this_.  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz → Mark Zuckerberg**  
ET TU BRUTE??????  
  
**Eduardo Saverin → Dustin Moskovitz**  
Can you explain the * though?  
  
**Dustin Moskovitz → Eduardo Saverin**  
I already said: YOU BROKE MY HEART :(  
  
**Eduardo Saverin → Dustin Moskovitz**  
Mark broke mine. There should be one next to his name too.  
_**Chris Hughes, Sean Elridge,**_ _and_ _**16 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I broke your what?  
**Eduardo Saverin** How can you even see this post?  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Privacy settings  
**Mark Zuckerberg** what did I break  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Should I buy you a new one  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I mean, not like you ever broke anything of mine before or anything  
****

**Eduardo Saverin** I’m never coming back on this website again. Goodbye.  
_**66 people**_ _liked this_.  
**Chris Hughes** Good  
**Chris Hughes** save yourself  
**Chris Hughes** one of us needs to be saved

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Dustin Moskovitz** are we doneeeee  
**Mark Zuckerberg** yes  
**Mark Zuckerberg** are you sure the text notifications are on?  
**Dustin Moskovitz** yep :D!  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I sure hope you know what you’re doing  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I always know what I’m doing  
****

* * *

  

 **Mark Zuckerberg** Facebook is actually not hiring a new CTO. Apologies for the mixup. That was a prank, and now Careers is yelling at me for all the emails they just got. Please do not send anymore applications.  
_**15,002 people**_ _liked this_.

 

* * *

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I lied, I know what of yours I broke  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I made this website I can see all posts  
**Mark Zuckerberg** anyway  
**Mark Zuckerberg** sorry for spamming your email inbox with Facebook notifications again  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Oh yeah I hope you don’t automatically mark them as spam or something or else this would be pointless  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I broke your heart? that’s kind of dramatic to say though isn’t it  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I can’t account for Dustin though, he’s kind of dramatic  
**Mark Zuckerberg** well not “kind of”  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Anyway, I never meant to break your heart or whatever and I’m sorry that I did  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I guess  
**Mark Zuckerberg** this was Chris’s idea  
**Mark Zuckerberg** kind of  
**Mark Zuckerberg** if it doesn’t work. If this doesn’t work this was Chris’s idea.  
  
**Mark Zuckerberg** bleh  
**Dustin Moskovitz** :D?  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I said if it didn’t work it was Chris’s idea  
**Chris Hughes** lmao thanks  
**Dustin Moskovitz** LOL  
**Dustin Moskovitz** MARK  
**Mark Zuckerberg** … wrong chat.

 

* * *

 

 **Mark Zuckerberg** Waiting.  
_**Dustin Moskovitz**_ _and_ _**640 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Randi Zuckerberg** *is waiting  
**Mark Zuckerberg** ?  
**Randi Zuckerberg** Not my fault that you came up with this ridiculous post format.  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** threw a cow at **Mark Zuckerberg**!  Join Farmville | View Dustin’s farm  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg** threw a horse at **Dustin Moskovitz!** Join Farmville | View Mark’s farm

 

 **Mark Zuckerberg** threw a chicken at **Dustin Moskovitz!** Join Farmville | View Mark’s farm  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg** threw a pig at **Dustin Moskovitz!** Join Farmville | View Mark’s farm

 

 **Mark Zuckerberg** threw a goat at **Dustin Moskovitz!** Join Farmville | View Mark’s farm

 

 **Dustin Moskovitz → Mark Zuckerberg**  
STOP  
  
**Erica Albright → Mark Zuckerberg**  
if you don’t stop spamming my newsfeed with farmville notifications i’m going to unfriend you  
_**Dustin Moskovitz, Chris Hughes**_ _, and_ _**3 others**_ _liked this_.  
  
**Mark Zuckerberg → Erica Albright**  
I’d like to see you try.  
  
**Erica Albright → Mark Zuckerberg**  
what was it that you said that one time? oh, right, “i don’t want friends.”  
**Dustin Moskovitz** OOH snap  
**Mark Zuckerberg** …  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg** Why is the world out to get me?  
_**Dustin Moskovitz, Erica Albright, Sean Parker**_ _, and_ _**5,281 others**_ _liked this_.

 

* * *

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Eduardo Saverin** This was pathetic but not completely incompetent.  
**Eduardo Saverin** So it worked.  
****

* * *

 

 **Eduardo Saverin** and **Mark Zuckerberg** are now friends. |  See Friendship  
_**Dustin Moskovitz**_ _,_ _**Chris Hughes, Adele,**_ _and_ _**698,470 others**_ _liked this_.  
****

* * *

 

 **Eduardo Saverin** **→ Mark Zuckerberg**  
I regret this. Too many notifications.  
_**Dustin Moskovitz, Chris Hughes,**_ _and_ _**956 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Get used to it  
**Mark Zuckerberg** you dug your own grave  
**Eduardo Saverin** everything I do with you is digging my own grave  
_**\- Chris Hughes**_ _and_ _**2,310 others**_ _liked this_.  
****

* * *

 

 **Eduardo Saverin** Maybe $19,000 wasn’t worth getting notifications on my phone and text and email every 5 minutes.  
_**Chris Hughes, Erica Albright**_ _, and_ _**265 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** OH SHIT UM  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I’LL FIX THAT  
**Mark Zuckerberg** It was totally worth it  
**Eduardo Saverin** That remains to be seen.

 

* * *

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I’m not pathetic

 

 **Dustin Moskovitz** posted a new photo -- with **Mark Zuckerberg** :

> Smiley Mark! Look at those dimples :D  
>  _[Please update browser in order to run scripts on this page.]_

_**Eduardo Saverin, Chris Hughes, Sean Parker**_ _, and_ _**418 others**_ _liked this._  
**Chris Hughes** i have literally never seen those dimples before omg  
**Dustin Moskovitz** RIGHT??  
**Mark Zuckerberg** when did you take this photo?  
**Dustin Moskovitz** :D

 

  
**Mark Zuckerberg** checked in at  New Guinea.  
_**Eduardo Saverin**_ _and_ _**311 others**_ _liked this_.  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg** shared  Adorable puppies!’s video.

> How to wash a Puli!!  
>  _[Please download Adobe Flash Player in order to view content.]_

_**Eduardo Saverin, Dustin Moskovitz,**_ _and_ _**600 others**_ _liked this_.  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg** shared his quiz result: [What ‘Game of Thrones’ Character Are You?](http://www.buddytv.com/personalityquiz/game-of-thrones-personalityquiz.aspx?quiz=500000095)

> Nice.
> 
> **You are Tyrion Lannister**. You are a witty person with a brilliant mind. People often underestimate your capabilities but that actually works to your advantage. You can be… [ See full result]

_**Eduardo Saverin, Chris Hughes, Dustin Moskovitz**_ _, and_ _**1,403 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Chris Hughes** lol of course  
**Chris Hughes** you are so house lannister  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Thanks

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** you’re the one who keeps liking my posts without commenting on them  
**Mark Zuckerberg** You’re pathetic  
**Eduardo Saverin** Very creative  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg** threw a chicken at **Eduardo Saverin!** Join Farmville | View Mark’s farm  
**Eduardo Saverin** Funny  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I try _  
****_

_**Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** do you even watch Game of Thrones?  
**Eduardo Saverin** Yes  
**Eduardo Saverin** I got Sansa on the personality test  
**Mark Zuckerberg** oh  
**Mark Zuckerberg** why didn’t you share it?  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I thought you would’ve gotten Daenerys  
**Eduardo Saverin** I’ll take that as a compliment  
**Mark Zuckerberg** it was supposed to be one  
****

* * *

 

 **Dustin Moskovitz** posted a new photo -- with **Mark Zuckerberg** : 

> Dimples pt. 2! :D :D  
>  _[Please update browser in order to run scripts on this page.]_

_**Eduardo Saverin, Sean Parker**_ _, and_ _**652 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I swear to god Dustin  
**Dustin Moskovitz** they are a rare breed and I must share them with the world when I can!  
**Chris Hughes** I can’t believe you two work for this website and literally spend all your time posting on this website  
**Mark Zuckerberg** we’re getting paid for being the commodities we sell  
_**\- Eduardo Saverin, Dustin Moskovitz**_ _, and_ _**23 others**_ _liked this_.  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg** I’m getting surgery so I’ll never smile again.  
_**Eduardo Saverin**_ _and_ _**705 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** MARK NO  
**Chris Hughes** this is EXTREMELY worrisome  
**Dustin Moskovitz** DON’T  
**Sean Parker** i rly wouldn’t. u should just break dustins phone lmao  
**Dustin Moskovitz** SEAN???  
**Mark Zuckerberg** thanks Sean. Good idea  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** I DON’T HAVE A PHONE. DON’T COME NEAR ME.  
_**Eduardo Saverin**_ _,_ _**Chris Hughes**_ _, and_ _**22 others**_ _liked this_.

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** You’re enjoying this too much  
**Eduardo Saverin** A little  
  
**Dustin Moskovitz** WARDO YOU’RE STILL ON MY SIDE RIGHT  
**Dustin Moskovitz** because Mark is surprisingly strong  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I mean not THAT surprising but still surprising  
**Eduardo Saverin** ?  
**Dustin Moskovitz** hold him down. tackle him.  
**Eduardo Saverin** That’s kind of hard for me to do, Dustin, considering I’m on the other side of the world.  
  
**Eduardo Saverin** Did you change your phone number?  
**Mark Zuckerberg** no  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Why?  
  
**Dustin Moskovitz** IN SPIRIT THEN  
**Dustin Moskovitz** DO IT IN SPIRIT  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg → Dustin Moskovitz**  
I won’t break your phone Dustin I promise. Come out from the bathroom now.  
  
**Dustin Moskovitz → Mark Zuckerberg**  
NEVER. I have four packs of reese’s and three jugs of water you’ll never catch me!!!!!  
  
**Mark Zuckerberg → Dustin Moskovitz**  
Other people need to use the bathroom. besides I’m pretty sure the candy was for our interns  
  
**Dustin Moskovitz → Mark Zuckerberg**  
YOU CAN BUY MORE WITH YOUR WORKING PHONE  
  
**Mark Zuckerberg → Dustin Moskovitz**  
That doesn’t make sense.  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg** posted a new photo:

> An attempt at dimples.  
>  _[Please update browser in order to run scripts on this page.]_

_**Eduardo Saverin, Karen Zuckerberg, Randi Zuckerberg,**_ _and_ _**8,560 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Karen Zuckerberg** My baby!!!!  
\- _**Eduardo Saverin**_ _and_ _**602 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Randi Zuckerberg** You look constipated  
\- _**Eduardo Saverin**_ _and_ _**481 others**_ _liked this_.

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Do you believe me now?  
**Dustin Moskovitz** ugh FINE  
****

**Sean Parker** posted a new photo -- with **Dustin Moskovitz** and **Mark Zuckerberg** :

> NICE DINOSAUR UNDERWEAR LMAO  
>  _[Please update browser in order to run scripts on this page.]_

_**Eduardo Saverin, Mark Zuckerberg, Chris Hughes**_ _, and_ _**122 others**_ _liked this_.  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz → Eduardo Saverin**  
I saw that like D: WHAT HAPPENED TO BEING ON MY SIDE  
  
**Eduardo Saverin → Dustin Moskovitz**  
They’re cute underwear!  
**Dustin Moskovitz** *manly  
**Eduardo Saverin** *Cute

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** lol  
**Eduardo Saverin** Never thought he was a briefs kind of guy  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Could’ve been worse  
**Eduardo Saverin** don’t make me imagine  
****

* * *

 

 **Dustin Moskovitz** threw a cow at **Eduardo Saverin**!  Join Farmville | View Dustin’s farm 

 

 **Eduardo Saverin** Never joining Farmville. Please stop.  
_**Mark Zuckerberg, Chris Hughes**_ _, and_ _**82 others**_ _liked this_.  
****

**Eduardo Saverin** posted a new photo:

> Monsoon season is coming up.  
>  _[Please update browser in order to run scripts on this page.]_

_**Mark Zuckerberg**_ _and_ _**18 others**_ _liked this_.

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Eduardo Saverin** Do you even know anything about meteorology?  
**Mark Zuckerberg** No?  
  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Wardo just asked me if I knew anything about meteorology  
**Mark Zuckerberg** ?  
**Chris Hughes** LOL  
**Chris Hughes** Probably because you liked his post  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Oh  
**Dustin Moskovitz** omg  
**Chris Hughes** this is like watching a dog trying to walk on its hind legs  
**Mark Zuckerberg** wtf  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I hate you  
**Chris Hughes** :D  
**Dustin Moskovitz** maybe you should learn meteorology Mark :DDDD  
**Mark Zuckerberg** no  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I mean well  
**Mark Zuckerberg** It probably has its merits, but no  
**Chris Hughes** Portuguese, then  
**Dustin Moskovitz** DON’T ENCOURAGE HIM CHRIS  
**Chris Hughes** every Mark needs his enabler  
**Chris Hughes** actually that’s probably not true  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Definitely not true  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** beat **Mark Zuckerberg** in a round of  Tetris Battle! | Come play now!  
**Chris Hughes** holy shit how did this even happen  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I find your doubt in my abilities VERY SAD, Christopher ):  
**Dustin Moskovitz** o ye of little faith  
****

**Chris Hughes** checked in at  Pizza My Heart (Palo Alto, CA) -- with **Dustin Moskovitz.**  
_**Dustin Moskovitz**_ _liked this_.  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** posted a new photo -- with **Mark Zuckerberg** :

> It’s attack of the dimples!!!!! Dimple season :D :D :D  
>  _[Please update browser in order to run scripts on this page.]_

_**Eduardo Saverin, Sean Parker,**_ _and_ _**387 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Eduardo Saverin** Dustin this is so creepy  
**Dustin Moskovitz** you liked it though :D  
**Dustin Moskovitz** it was Chris’s idea  
**Mark Zuckerberg** How did my blinds get open  
**Mark Zuckerberg** your entire Photos are just pictures of me  
**Dustin Moskovitz** BECAUSE I LOVE YOU  <3  
**Mark Zuckerberg** …  
**Dustin Moskovitz** Love me Mark  
**Mark Zuckerberg** no.  
\- _**Eduardo Saverin**_ _and_ _**14 others**_ _liked this_.  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** posted a new photo -- with **Mark Zuckerberg** :

> In his natural habitat  
>  _[Please update browser in order to run scripts on this page.]_

_**Eduardo Saverin, Sean Parker**_ **,** _and_ _**211 others**_ _liked this_.  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg** Anyone who posts photos of me from now on will have their profile pictures changed to the Forever Alone guy meme. Proceed with caution.  
_**Eduardo Saverin**_ _and_ _**1,200 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** you say this like it’s a threat  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I happen to love that meme  
**Eduardo Saverin** Of course you do.  
**Chris Hughes** you know what a meme is, Eduardo?  
****

**Eduardo Saverin → Chris Hughes**  
I know what the internet is, Chris.  
  
**Chris Hughes → Eduardo Saverin**  
that is honestly news to me  
_**Mark Zuckerberg, Dustin Moskovitz,**_ _and_ _**18 others**_ _liked this_. 

 

* * *

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Eduardo Saverin** If your phone is seriously still dead you should charge it  
**Mark Zuckerberg** meh  
**Eduardo Saverin** Also eat lunch with Chris since he’s in town  
**Mark Zuckerberg** ugh  
**Eduardo Saverin** Mark.  
****

* * *

  

 **Dustin Moskovitz** posted a new photo via  Instagram \-- with **Chris Hughes** and **Mark Zuckerberg** :

> Om nom nom! #foodporn #food #pasta #myfoodtasteisbetterthanyours #suckmytastebuds #notreally #dontdothat  
>  _[Please update browser in order to run scripts on this page.]_

_**Mark Zuckerberg, Eduardo Saverin,**_ _and_ _**72 others**_ _liked this_.  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** changed his profile picture. 

> _[Please update browser in order to run scripts on this page.]_

_**Eduardo Saverin**_ _and_ ** _36 others_** _liked this_.  
****

* * *

 

 **Dustin Moskovitz → Mark Zuckerberg  
** HEY  
THAT WAS A TOTALLY NON-CREEPY POSTED WITH PERMISSION PICTURE

 **Mark Zuckerberg → Dustin Moskovitz**  
So?  
  
**Dustin Moskovitz → Mark Zuckerberg**  
you play a dirty dirty game mr. Zuckerberg  
  
**Mark Zuckerberg → Dustin Moskovitz**  
I’m a Lannister. What else did you expect?  
  
**Dustin Moskovitz → Mark Zuckerberg**  
well I’m going to remind you AGAIN that I actually LOVE the Forever Alone guy meme  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I LOVE ALL MEMES  
_**\- Chris Hughes, Sean Parker**_ _, and_ _**14 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Chris Hughes** I really wanna believe that that comment was mark hacking into dustin’s account  
**Chris Hughes** somehow I doubt it  
  
**Mark Zuckerberg → Dustin Moskovitz**  
Probably because it’s an accurate picture of you.  
_**Eduardo Saverin, Chris Hughes**_ _and_ _**76 others**_ _liked this_.

 

* * *

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Dustin Moskovitz** What is with you  
**Eduardo Saverin** ?  
**Dustin Moskovitz** and liking Mark’s SICK BURNS ON MY WALL  
**Dustin Moskovitz** WHAT ABOUT US  
**Dustin Moskovitz** WHAT ABOUT EVERYTHING WE’VE BEEN THROUGH  
**Eduardo Saverin** What did we go through?  
**Eduardo Saverin** And, I don’t know? I like them.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** … WHAT ABOUT TRUST???  
**Dustin Moskovitz** this is the part where you say “I NEVER WANTED TO HURT YOU”  
**Eduardo Saverin** What?  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** The next shareholder’s meeting is going to be a High School Musical marathon. I propose it.  
_**Sean Parker**_ _and_ _**434 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Vetoed.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I’m younger  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Still vetoed.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** you break my heart Mark  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I can’t believe this  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz → Eduardo Saverin**  
WHAT DID YOU TEACH HIM and how and why D:  
  
**Eduardo Saverin → Dustin Moskovitz**  
I’m starting to feel like you spend too much time on this site.  
_**Chris Hughes, Mark Zuckerberg**_ _, and_ _**12 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** Maybe because I WORK HERE????  
**Mark Zuckerberg** So do I.  
**Eduardo Saverin** You’re not exempt, Mark.  
**Mark Zuckerberg** When the hell did you decide this  
**Dustin Moskovitz** HA  
**Dustin Moskovitz** and, anyway Eduardo, ever since you started using this site again you’ve been using it an AWFUL LOT LATELY TOO!!!!  
**Eduardo Saverin** Not as much as you  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** threw a sheep at **Chris Hughes!** Join Farmville | View Dustin’s farm

 

* * *

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** where the fuck are you  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Wardo  
**Eduardo Saverin** Sorry, I was napping. I think I’m sick.  
**Mark Zuckerberg** for 18 hours?  
**Eduardo Saverin** See: the second half of that message  
**Mark Zuckerberg** ugh  
****

* * *

 

 **Chris Hughes** posted a new photo -- with **Mark Zuckerberg, Dustin Moskovitz, Sean Parker**  

> It’s like college all over again.  
>  _[Please update browser in order to run scripts on this page.]_

_**Eduardo Saverin, Mark Zuckerberg,**_ _and_ _**43 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Mark Zuckerberg** except for the part where your hair isn’t atrocious  
_-_ _**Dustin Moskovitz, Eduardo Saverin**_ _, and_ _**200 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Mark Zuckerberg** also Sean’s there  
****

* * *

 

 **Mark Zuckerberg** checked in at  Shanghai Pudong International Airport (Shanghai, China.)  
_**Eduardo Saverin**_ _and_ _**21 others**_ _liked this_.  
****

* * *

 

 **Dustin Moskovitz** shared his quiz result: [Which Disney Princess Are You?](http://www.buzzfeed.com/mccarricksean/which-disney-princes-are-you)

> AYY MY GIRL JASMINE
> 
> **You got: Jasmine**. Daring and adventurous, you are considered the daredevil of you group. You enjoy… [ See full result]

_**Chris Hughes, Mark Zuckerberg**_ _, and_ _**58 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Chris Hughes** are you not ariel?  
**Mark Zuckerberg** No, he’s tone deaf.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** EXCUSE YOU  
**Dustin Moskovitz** a whole new world vs part of your world GO  
**Chris Hughes** my bad, Mark was right  
**Chris Hughes** I was too focused on the red hair  
**Dustin Moskovitz** why am I being bullied on my own facebook post????

 

* * *

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Chris Hughes** mark looks distracted  
**Chris Hughes** he’s going to the bathroom  
****

**Mark Zuckerberg** I can’t find my phone.  
_**Eduardo Saverin, Sean Parker**_ _and_ _**98 others**_ _liked this_.  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** is about to die.  
_**Mark Zuckerberg**_ _and_ _**21 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Eduardo Saverin** It’s really worrying that you liked this , Mark.  
**Mark Zuckerberg** For good reason, trust me.  
****

**Dustin Moskovitz** AAAAAAAAAAAA  
_**Mark Zuckerberg, Eduardo Saverin**_ _, and_ _**48 others**_ _liked this_.

 

 **Mark Zuckerberg** Phone is secure. I would issue another status about needing a new CTO, but unfortunately Careers would hate me again.  
_**521 people**_ _liked this_.

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I COULDN’T EVEN UNLOCK YOUR PHONE ANYWAY  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I know. good.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** you’re always on it!!  
**Dustin Moskovitz** WHAT SCRETS ARE YOU HIDING  
**Dustin Moskovitz** did you find the fountain of youth  
**Mark Zuckerberg** no secrets  
**Mark Zuckerberg** and  
**Mark Zuckerberg** no  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I don’t believe you at ALL  
**Mark Zuckerberg** too bad

 

* * *

 

 **Chris Hughes** shared a link on **Dustin Moskovitz** ’s wall via Buzzfeed:

> thought you might like this lol
> 
>  **[The 60 Best Planks](http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/the-60-best-planks#.siKNkxLj3v)** I’ve looked at every submission to the Official Planking Facebook group to bring you this “best of” list.

 _ **Dustin Moskovitz**_ _liked this_.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WE HAD AN OFFICIAL PLANKING GROUP  
**Dustin Moskovitz** omg  
**Chris Hughes** mark’s been a member  
**Dustin Moskovitz** Mark doesn’t do planks  
**Chris Hughes** forreal

 

* * *

 

 **Dustin Moskovitz** posted a new photo -- with **Mark Zuckerberg** : 

> A complexion other than pasty white!  
>  _[Please update browser in order to run scripts on this page.]_

 _ **Chris Hughes, Eduardo Saverin**_ _, and_ _**47 others**_ _liked this_.

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I am going to kill you  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I AM ALREADY FOREVER ALONE  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I HAVE NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Hide in the bathroom again if you want to live  
**Dustin Moskovitz** you know you’re really bad at this threatening thing  
**Dustin Moskovitz** when you’re letting me know how to protect myself in advance  
**Dustin Moskovitz** aaaaand im going seeya  
  
**Chris Hughes** where are you?  
**Dustin Moskovitz** b-room  
**Dustin Moskovitz** i think Mark might legitimately be pissed  
**Chris Hughes** LMAO  
**Dustin Moskovitz** WHY do you laugh at my pain  
**Chris Hughes** it’s just funny  
**Dustin Moskovitz** can you get me food???  
  
**Mark Zuckerberg** phone died again. When are you getting here?  
**Eduardo Saverin** 3:00  
**Mark Zuckerberg** you’re driving back

 

* * *

 

 **Eduardo Saverin** threw a chicken at **Mark Zuckerberg**!  Join Farmville | View Eduardo’s farm  
_**Mark Zuckerberg, Dustin Moskovitz**_ _, and_ _**36 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** !!! ! ! ! ! !!!  
**Erica Albright** LMAO you’re both losers

 

 **Mark Zuckerberg** threw a chicken at **Eduardo Saverin**!  Join Farmville | View Mark’s farm  
_**Dustin Moskovitz, Chris Hughes**_ _and_ _**12 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Mark Zuckerberg** At least mine’s not a cannibal  
\- _**Dustin Moskovitz**_ _,_ _**Chris Hughes**_ _, and_ _**2 others**_ _liked this_.

 

* * *

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Sean Parker** plz tell me after all these yrs  
**Sean Parker** ‘chicken’ is just an innuendo  
**Sean Parker** or maybe cannibal  
**Sean Parker** ok i genuinely hope that cannibal is an innuendo  
**Mark Zuckerberg** how afraid would you be if the answer was no?  
**Sean Parker** incredibly  
**Mark Zuckerberg** then don’t ask

 

* * *

 

 **Dustin Moskovitz** posted a new photo -- with **Eduardo Saverin** and **Mark Zuckerberg.**

> LOOK WHO’S BACK IN TOWN!!  
>  _[Please update browser in order to run scripts on this page.]_

 _ **Eduardo Saverin, Mark Zuckerberg, Chris Hughes**_ _, and_ _**921 others**_ _liked this_.

 

* * *

 

 **Mark Zuckerberg** checked in at  Pizza My Heart (Palo Alto, CA.) -- with **Eduardo Saverin, Dustin Moskovitz, Chris Hughes.**

 

 **** _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** i’m starting to regret this  
**Eduardo Saverin** Wtf  
**Mark Zuckerberg** what?  
**Eduardo Saverin** R u msging me undr th table?  
**Mark Zuckerberg** a) your blind typing skills are awful, and b) yes  
**Mark Zuckerberg** this place has awful reception  
**Eduardo Saverin** Well tlk abt this l8r  
**Mark Zuckerberg** okay  
**Mark Zuckerberg** watching you type is painful anyway

 

* * *

 

 **Dustin Moskovitz** threw a sheep at **Eduardo Saverin**!  Join Farmville | View Dustin’s farm  
_**Dustin Moskovitz**_ _liked this_.

 

 **Eduardo Saverin** threw a cow at **Dustin Moskovitz**!  Join Farmville | View Eduardo’s farm  
_**Dustin Moskovitz**_ _liked this_.

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Dustin Moskovitz** There is literally nothing on your farm except for chickens  
**Dustin Moskovitz** dude  
**Dustin Moskovitz** what the fuck  
**Eduardo Saverin** Wasn’t my idea.

 

* * *

 

 **Chris Hughes** home safe!  
_**Mark Zuckerberg, Sean Elridge**_ _, and_ _**256 others**_ _liked this_.

 

* * *

 

 **Mark Zuckerberg** beat **Dustin Moskovitz** in a round of  Tetris Battle! | Come play now!

 

* * *

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Beh  
**Eduardo Saverin** I am sitting right next to you  
  
**Dustin Moskovitz** Mark is being so weird  
**Dustin Moskovitz** please save me  
**Chris Hughes** no can do  
**Chris Hughes** you’re forever alone, remember?  
**Dustin Moskovitz** WOW  
**Chris Hughes** it’s literally your profile picture

 

 **Dustin Moskovitz** changed his profile picture.

> _[Please update browser in order to run scripts on this page.]_

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Mark Zuckerberg** This is pointless  
**Eduardo Saverin** What’s the point of you making Facebook if you don’t get to make yourself Facebook official?  
**Mark Zuckerberg** I already am  
**Eduardo Saverin** And why am I reminding you again that we are literally sitting right across from each other  
**Eduardo Saverin** Your feet are in my lap  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Thanks, I didn’t realize  
****

* * *

 

 **Mark Zuckerberg** is in a relationship with **Eduardo Saverin.**  
_**Dustin Moskovitz, Chris Hughes, Adele, Sean Parker,**_ _and_ _**999,046 others**_ _liked this_.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** I can’t believe you told me not to FREAK OUT???  
**Dustin Moskovitz** WHAT??????  
**Chris Hughes** congratulations!!  
**Dustin Moskovitz** WHAT  
**Sean Parker** dmosc u owe me $200  
**Dustin Moskovitz** UGH  
**Eduardo Saverin** Dustin, what the hell?  
**Sean Parker** i had faith in u u cannibal  
**Eduardo Saverin** Um.  
**Mark Zuckerberg** That is not what I meant  
**Chris Hughes** …………. anyway STAY HAPPY  
**Eduardo Saverin** We’ll do our best. Thanks, Chris.  
**Chris Hughes** :)  
**Eduardo Saverin** And Dustin, so much for being on ‘my side.’  
**Eduardo Saverin** Get your head in the game.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** DID YOU SERIOUSLY JUST  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Suck it.  
**Dustin Moskovitz** NO  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Eduardo responded to this in real life but I’m obligated to not give out explicit details.  
**Sean Parker** and im gone from this convo goodbye

 

* * *

 

 _ **Chat**_  
**Eduardo Saverin** How does it feel being Facebook official?  
**Mark Zuckerberg** Why are we still on our computers?

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know why I keep thinking I'm funny... anyway,
> 
> Thank you [Christie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/tionism) for putting this in my head, and [Cathy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Flips_and_Quips) and [Julie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/mayora) for accidentally witnessing when I started this stupid thing and cheered me on anyway. The Adele cameo is just for them, since we listened to Hello together and cried about how Eduardo/Mark it was... I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be, okay.


End file.
